The Man in the Mirror
by Merri
Summary: A slightly mental Harry in a magical way. Slash. (HP/SS)
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K Rowling.  
Warning: SLASH. (HP/SS)

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**The Man in the Mirror**  
_Written by Merri_  
Prologue 

It was almost a year after Voldemort's defeat when Harry started to breakdown. He was now the hero of the wizarding world. He had killed the bane of his life that was the very man who murdered his parents. The final battle had ended with very little casualties on the Light side and most of the death-eaters were killed in the explosion caused by the ball of energy he released. Peter Pettigrew was caught and put on trial and Sirius was finally free, his life should be peaceful now and Harry should be happy but he was not.

Harry was slowly drowning in his guilt, in guilt of killing so many even if they did deserve it. He had indirectly walked down the path that Tom Riddle took. Killing to accomplish what he had to and he had enjoyed the moment when he tortured Voldemort before killing him. His hands were stained in blood and he couldn't wash them away no matter how hard he scrubbed at them. He was evil and a murderer, just like Voldemort. 

People began to distance themselves away from him, for they feared his powers, feared him for being different. He had friends but they didn't understand him. And it hurt. It hurt to think that they thought of him as everything but a human, a fifteen-year-old boy.

It was late May in the year 1996 when Harry Potter disappeared from the wizarding world and was never to be seen again.

"I'm sorry…"

Dumbledore sipped at his cup of peppermint tea as he waited for his guest to appear. It had been almost a year since Argus Filch had retired due to the leg injury he got from the final battle and nobody had been interested to take over the position of caretaker at Hogwarts. That was until last week when he received a letter enquiring about the job position. Today was the interview and it was about time.

"Come in," said Dumbledore when he heard a firm knock on the door.

A hooded figure entered the room and took the seat that Dumbledore gestured him to. He removed his hood to reveal a mop of short spiky aging grey hair and a pair of murky pale jade eyes.

"Welcome to Hogwarts, James. Before we start the interview, would you like a cup of tea?"

The interview was a success and James was employed immediately. He had started to worry when Dumbledore became suspicious during the interview. With his level of magic, he could have easily gotten a job with the Ministry instead of coming to Hogwarts to become a lowly caretaker. He had managed to convince the headmaster that he was hit by a misfired curse years ago and was unable to perform magic ever since. Dumbledore bought the excuse but with his blue eyes twinkling like Christmas lights, James wondered if it had been a bad idea to come to Hogwarts.

After being given a brief tour around the school, James settled down into his new room, which consisted of a single bed, a writing desk, an armchair and a bathroom. The room was simple and its granite walls were bare. All in all, it was small but comfortable. He conjured a full-length mirror next to his bed and looked into the shiny surface, caressing it as if it were his lover. Everything in his reflection was exactly the same except for the pair of brilliant green eyes and the forlorn expression.

Tears began to trickle down both his and his reflection's cheeks.

"Don't cry… I won't let anyone hurt you again," whispered James.

_To be continued..._

  


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A/N: A big thanks to dear Caitlynne and my lovely sister for helping me to beta this fic. There should be two pairings here but I only stated one of them, the other is for you to guess and it is not difficult to figure out. Comments & Constructive Criticisms appreciated!

~Merri 


	2. Chapter 1: Harry James Potter

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K Rowling.  
Warning: SLASH. (HP/SS)

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**The Man in the Mirror**  
_Written by Merri_  
Chapter 1: Harry James Potter

_It hurts…  
It hurts…  
It hurts, make it stop…   
I'm sorry.  
I didn't mean to…_

_Harry, don't cry…  
I won't let you hurt anymore._

_Who are you?_

_I am you._

James wiped the tears from his cheeks and his reflection did the same.

"Aren't you happy, Harry? We are in Hogwarts at last," said James, his voice was barely a whisper.

"You must be wondering why I brought us back, am I right?" He laughed weakly, "Because I'm jealous, Harry. You don't love me anymore. You missed him. You love him more than you love me."

He continued, "But you can only love me, Harry. I'm the only one who deserves your love. You wouldn't get hurt loving me."

He got up and began to pace the room before he turned to face his reflection, Harry.

"I'll end this for you… and then I'll be the only one you love," said James.

"No…" choked Harry.

The next evening was the start-of-the-term feast and when the last of the first years had been sorted, Dumbledore announced that they tucked in. James stood silently at a dark corner, hidden in the shadows, observing everyone as they ate.

Every so often, his eyes would fall on the famous Potions Master, Severus Snape, and flash in jealousy. When the last of the desserts were polished clean from the plates, Dumbledore stood up to address the school.

"May I have your attention please, while I give out a few notices," said Dumbledore.

"As we all know, Argus Filch, had retired from his position as caretaker a year ago and we had been without a one since then, but I'm glad to announce that it would not be so this year. May I introduce to you our new caretaker of Hogwarts, James," announced Dumbledore before the staff and students applauded.

James smirked and stepped out from the shadows. He removed his hood and bowed in acknowledgement. The movement caused the fringe, which he used to cover the right side of his face, to move aside. Gasps could be heard from around the hall at what it revealed. A huge portion of his right face was covered in scar tissues. It was a ghastly sight.

From what they could tell from the unmarked side of his face, James should be in his early twenties even if his greying hair told otherwise.

A burst of fervent whispers erupted from the student body while some of them stared suspiciously at James. Despite the defeat of Voldemort, the majority of the students were still skeptical to new staff members, especially those who reminded them vaguely of Mad-Eye Moody from Harry's fourth year. Death-eaters were still lurking in the shadows, ready to resurrect another Dark Lord.

A few students gave Dumbledore doubtful looks, afraid that their headmaster might have made another wrong judgement. Especially from the Gryffindor table where Hermione Granger seemed particularly disturbed.

James scanned his eyes around the hall taking in the various reactions his defect had caused, before locking them on Professor Snape's. He could feel the man's gaze boring a hole into his head and he grinned in return, causing the Professor to glare back with added intensity.

Dumbledore cleared his throat before he continued, "James has asked me to inform you that the list of objects forbidden inside the castle this year has been extended to include thirty more items. It is a little too long for me to list out, so if anybody is interested, the list can be checked in James' office."

"And as before, the Forbidden Forest is still forbidden and is out-of-bounds to students as is Hogsmeade to all below the third year. Now, as it is late, I shall dismiss you all for your bedtime!" concluded Dumbledore.

James slipped out of the Great Hall and proceeded to make his way down to his office. It was time for his night duty.

Snape was feeling both annoyed and suspicious. Something about James was making him feel uncomfortable. Was it familiarity? He couldn't pin point it but he was shocked that Dumbledore would employ such a dubious person into Hogwarts.

"It is time that I pay Albus a visit," snorted Snape as swept off to the Headmaster's office.

"I can't believe Argus lasted so long on this job. This is simply boring except maybe giving detentions. I swear if I were a squib and had to clean, restore and maintain this huge castle manually all by myself, it wouldn't take long for me to become Argus Filch the second," grumbled James as he made his night rounds around the school.

"You know, Harry. We should be glad that I could use magic without a wand. I don't want to return to being a slave by doing these chores. It reminds me of the Dursleys. I know you're weaker now because of me but you know that I'll protect you, right?" asked James. 

When he was met with silence, he chuckled.

"Ah, I see… Harry is ignoring me," said James.

An oil lamp in one hand and the 'Hogwarts Guide for Caretakers' in the other, James walked down a deserted corridor, trying to reacquaint himself with the old castle. Surprisingly, the guide showed the various secret passages of Hogwarts and the secret spots the students of Hogwarts have been using all these years. A particular spot labeled as 'Slytherin couples' favourite' made James smile.

"Maybe I should check it out. Wouldn't it be great to give Slytherins detention?" mused James as he took a secret passage which would bring him down to the dungeons.

Black robes billowed behind him as he strode towards his chambers. Snape couldn't believe that Dumbledore had actually employed a person whose background he knew nothing about, except the fact that the man was a very powerful wizard but was unable to perform magic because of a curse.

_"Trust me Severus, it is for the best that we let him stay."_

Despite the assurance from the old wizard, Snape still believed that James is a dangerous figure to keep at Hogwarts. He would have to find out more about the man by himself.

He halted in front of his chambers and murmured the password before portrait opened. Now that he had a caretaker to stalk the next day, he would have to get as much rest as he could tonight. All this while, he was unaware of the pair of eerie eyes watching him from the shadows.

Just as Snape disappeared into the room, James crept out from the safety of the darkness surrounding him. Grinning, he made his way to the wall next to the portrait and leaned against it.

"Harry, guess what I found?" he whispered.

Maniacal laughter resounded down the corridor as James faded into the darkness.

_To be continued..._

  


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A/N: THANK YOU so much for your reviews! You really made my day for days. Anyway, I know most of you were confused about the previous chapter, I hope this chapter explained a few things for you or maybe gave you a vague idea of where this is heading to. I guess you should be able to tell who James is by now. Hint: Read the title of this chapter. Comments & Constructive Criticisms appreciated!

A BIG Thank you to Caitlynne for being a wonderful beta-reader.

Once again, kisses & hugs to: 

**Miss Padfoot**  
**Lucius Sikilmituile**: I hope this chapter cleared about some confusion and Harry did appear in the Prologue. And the weather here is awful too, I'm roasting in the heat.   
**Anon **  
**Glorygirl**: Are you still confused? *bites her nails*   
**Daemon Potter**  
**Pastles**  
**Ronnie**: I've rewritten this chapter several times to squeeze in the many hints. I really hope I cleared some confusion here.   
**Mikee**: You're welcome.   
**dumbledore-2003**: You'll know more about James and Harry in the later chapters. This chapter should give you some hints.  
**Darklady**  
**Gaaak **

~Merri


	3. Chapter 2: To kill you in your sleep

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K Rowling.  
Warning: SLASH. (HP/SS)

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**The Man in the Mirror**  
_Written by Merri_  
Chapter 2: To kill you in your sleep

_Who are you?_

_I am you._

_But how can you be me?  
Why can't I see you?_

_Because I'm in you, Harry.  
You created me._

_Why would I want to create you?  
Why can't I remember?_

_I'm here to live the life you cannot bear to live.  
You don't have to remember.  
Just let me be 'you'.  
  
_

Snape watched from a distance as James went about with his daily chores, the man's grey paint-stained cloak swirling around him as he restored the painting of the Fat lady. After days of watching, he had found nothing suspicious about the eccentric caretaker. The only thing that was worrying Snape at the moment was the man's sanity. James' frequent mood swings and bouts of violence had not gone unnoticed by the Potions Professor.

He had to report this to Dumbledore. James was still a threat to the students given his current state of mind. He took another look at the man and for a moment, he thought he saw those bright green eyes instead of paler ones.

Nimble fingers worked, adding paint while weaving magic into each layer. With his brows furrowed in concentration, 'James' carefully restored the painting of the Fat Lady outside the Gryffindor Tower.

"Careful boy, wouldn't want my dress spoiled," said the portrait.

"I _am_ careful. Just keep quiet. All your chattering is making me nervous," replied Harry as he dabbed gingerly at the canvas.

He had spent the whole morning talking James into letting him 'out' for a while. James had been reluctant because Harry had lost control of his temper on more than one occasion and he was worried that they might give themselves away.

"Well, you weren't as careful the last time you fixed Violet's hair," snorted the Fat Lady.

"I didn't fix Violet's hair!" protested Harry.

The Fat Lady raised a brow.

"I mean, yes, it was me but not exactly me. It was the other me!" explained Harry, his hands flailing about.

"Yes, yes. A bad workman blames his tools. No, he blames his other self," said the Fat Lady as she rolled her eyes, wondering what had gotten to the caretaker. He was especially talkative today.

Harry was about to retort when he felt a familiar presence behind him and started to panic, dropping his paintbrush in the process.

"He is watching us. He is watching us again. Why? Does he hate me so much? I've been good, haven't I? Why?" he murmured while running a hand through his spiky grey hair.

"Boy? Are you alright?" asked the Fat Lady when she saw that he was close to hyperventilating.

When Harry ignored her and showed no signs of continuing with his work, she shrugged her shoulders and disappeared from the frame; off to show Violet her newly restored dress.

Once she was gone, Harry went rigid. His eyes darkened to a deep green before turning to an eerie whitish jade.

"Shh… calm down Harry." said James as he bent down to retrieve the brush Harry dropped. "Just wait a little longer. I won't let you suffer anymore."

It was unnerving as always to watch Dumbledore savour his candies during a serious conversation.

"Albus! Were you listening to me? I said that James is not sane!" exclaimed an exasperated Snape.

"Yes, yes, I heard you Severus. If James is really unsuitable for the job, I'll have him removed from the position," said Dumbledore as he popped another candy into his mouth, "But I have yet to receive any complaints from the other staff or students. Could it be that you were just overreacting?"

Snape's eyes widen, "Overreacting? It was just yesterday that the man was trying to hammer a hole through the wall using his mop!"

Dumbledore looked solemn for a moment, "We'll monitor him for a few more days, if he is as you've said, mentally unstable, we'll take the necessary actions."

Snape snorted, in a few more days and somebody might have already been hurt.

"If you say so, Albus," said Snape, resigned.

It was half past three in the morning and while most of Hogwarts were asleep, James was grinning from cheek to cheek as he made his way down to the dungeons in little skips. Today was to be the happiest day of his life, the day when Severus Snape would be put to sleep for eternity. He slowed down to a walk as he reached the portrait guarding Snape's private chambers and looked at it smugly.

"Paranoia," whispered James to the sleeping portrait and the frame swung open to offer him access.

Snape's chambers were just as what James thought it would look like. Gloomy. Almost every furniture was finished in black, apart from an occasional dark green or grey. He walked casually around the living room, observing every crack and crevice. The room looked cold, devoid of any warmth that one might find in a living quarter. Not a single photograph could be found on the mantle above the fireplace. Not a single painting graced the cold, damp walls. Only the worn armchair showed that the room was indeed in use and occupied.

Deciding not to waste precious time, James headed straight for the bedroom where the Potions Master slept. He crept quietly into the room and towards the bed, careful as not to make a single noise.

"Professor Snape," he breathed.

"Good Bye."

He pulled out a dagger from his cloak and plunged it down towards Snape's chest, only to have it stop a mere inch above the Professor. Pale green eyes turned slightly to emerald green.

"No…" came a strained answer. The hands holding the dagger were trembling slightly.

"Harry! Stay out of this!" hissed James softly as he tried to gain control of the body.

"No! I won't let you!" replied Harry.

"I'm doing this for us, Harry! Us! Don't you get it?" exclaimed James.

"Stop it," pleaded Harry, the bright green in their eyes was already beginning to fade away.

"What do you like about Snape anyway? He had been a total bastard to us for six years, Harry! Are you a masochist? But from what I know, you're not! So stop pinning for this git! He doesn't deserve you!" yelled James, breathing hard from the mental exertion.

Tears began clouding his vision. For the first time since his creation, James cried. He didn't know why he was crying but he did. 

"Let go of me," choked James.

"I did, " said Harry, but this time in his mind.

Pale jade eyes widened and James tried again to plunge the dagger into the flesh beneath the nightshirt but his hands wouldn't budge.

Before he could comprehend his situation, James fell face first towards the hard floor after he was hit by a stunning spell from behind. He was caught and there was no turning back now. The last thing he heard before he lost consciousness was Harry's voice.

"I think you like him too…"

_To be continued..._

  


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A/N: Sorry for taking so long with this chapter. I was busy preparing my application form for Art College and sorting my portfolio. Anyway, here is the new chapter! I guess you probably have lots of questions for this chapter like 'Why Snape can stay asleep while Harry & James argue?' You will know in the next chapter. The part where Harry tries to stop James from killing his beloved Professor, they are both talking aloud. Because Harry has a small hold on his body. If you have question please do ask, I'll try to answer them if it is not a spoiler, heh. Constructive Criticisms & Comments appreciated!

A Big Thank You to my beta readers, Caitlynne and my sis!

And a Big Thank You with plenty of hugs and kisses to those of you who reviewed. 

**Ms. Padfoot**: I hope I still have your attention up to now. About James' face, you'll know later ^_~   
**Lucius Sikilmituile**: I hope this chapter explains most of your questions. If not maybe chapter 3.   
**charzy**: I don't know how mental would be very mental. But he seems moderately mental to me.   
**Kalina Quantum**: I love mental Harry **Kateri   
Jess the Great**: I think he is insane, if that is how you describe his current condition and it's not because of a spell.   
**two2blue**: Sorry to disappoint you about the investigating part. ^^;   
**koko**: I love [insert char name]xThemselves too. In fact, I like anything weird.   
**barbarataku **  
**Gaaak**: Yes, it's schizo. About the different entity part, it is also kind of true.   
**Corgi **

~Merri


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